Barrel of Monkeys: Genesis in Reverse: SON OF A B***H!

BARREL OF MONKEYS: "GENESIS" in Reverse

I consider myself a Democrat. Been called a Socialist. Definitely a bleeding heart liberal.

As a child from a traditional southern family, playing Barrel of Monkeys on the floor, church every Sunday, doing well in public school, learning a trade; in every sense privileged .........

Comfortable in middle age, an avid news reader, on learning the tragic story of a full grown chimpanzee destroying the face of a woman who offered a toy, only trying to help it's owner coax her surrogate child back into his cage......

Today being confrontational, ribald, offensive, restless, rebellious.......

How did I get here from there?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

SON OF A B***H!

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'

***

Wise Latina Woman

"Grandchildren

from my daughters I know are mine."

Grandchildren

from my sons I can never be so sure."

-Panamanian friend quoting his grandmother-

*******

A pious soul who dies, goes to heaven, and gains an audience with the Virgin Mary. The visitor asks Mary why, for all her blessings, she always appears in paintings as a bit sad, a bit wistful: Is everything O.K.?

Mary reassures her visitor: “Oh, everything’s great. No problems. It’s just ... it’s just that we had always wanted a daughter.”

****

HIP HOP MARY

Always joking that one day I will write a Christmas Song;

a rap song titled....."HELL MARY!"

The chorus goes like this......

(chorus)
"hell Mary!,
wa'cho gettin knocked up fo?"

So far, that's as far as I've gotten.

But seriously,
have a question needing to ask;
a hypothetical one.

If they were to find Jesus's bones in a crypt
(proven beyond a reasonable doubt)
and
manage to extract enough DNA to do a paternity test.....

The results showing that
Jesus did indeed have a father; not necessarily Joseph.
That Mary was not a virgin; at least not any more.

Would you stop being a Christian?
We still have his words of wisdom to live by.

That's the most important part....right?

Or have you been too busy silencing people considered offensive?

****

It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction… Fiction has to make sense.

~ Mark Twain
Most people would rather die than think. In fact, they do.

~Bertrand Russell

Barrel of Monkeys: Genesis in Reverse